Archives for July 2003

A Break in the Drought

Today the rain clouds are coming in quickly. Last night it rained hard for about twenty minutes. Utah has been suffering a five year drought. Until about four days ago, the desert hasn’t seen a drop of rain. Fire danger was at extreme, and everything looked dried up. They say this Utah is the second driest in the US. Last summer, it was one fire after another.

The other day I went north of town in the direction the thunderheads were traveling. About 18 miles out, I parked the car on the desert and watched the sun slowly go down in the west. The Clouds became violent, and the lightning was so awesome! The thunder rumbled and echoed accross the landscape. The closer it came, the more power I felt. You know, I have a fear of lightning. But its power is in my soul. Every time its close, it seems to communicate. The rain came nice and cool. What a blessing it was for such a dry land.

I wasn’t home till after dark. The rains let up, but it was the most beautiful time. Those big clouds are blessings, and I wander how the farmers must feel? It sure took a while for the wet season to come and hope it stays.

There’s still blue sky outside as this is being written and those clouds are coming to visit this little town today. With them comes beauty, and I hope the rain falls heavy so the land can become greener.

I am so greatful for such things. They bring happiness.

Nathan Cowlishaw

Dealing with Selfishness

Here’s another post for today. Just wanted to add some extra thoughts, that are either excessive, or depressive! Lets add to the idea of self-pity; how do you eliminate such a pitiful disease? Its a hard thing to overcome to a large extent. Learning proper compassion is much harder! You’re either serving your own agenda and interests, or your actually caring and helping other people! Trying to overcome the fact that you are an incredibly self-centered person, is like trying to dodge a hurdle as high as Mt. Everest. I thought I had somewhat overcame the issues of Selfishness, but no, I fell deep into self-pity. It’s an unmerciful and lonely world deep down there, with only you and your imagination.

People will shout at me, and keep shouting, but I can’t seem to hear the message. Maybe I’m carelessly avoiding the fact that I have to face up to the morality of being prideful, and uncaring.

Quit thinking of yourself. Stay Positive. Love thy neighbor as thyself. Be sure to endure to the end. Never be UNGREATFUL. Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you, etc…

The first challenge to becoming a better person is to quit running from the challenges, and face up to the challenges. Avoid hurting others, and be careful not to say things you don’t mean to say.

Dumping the Self-Interests is a major battle that will last for months. It’s been a friend when no others were around. But it?s a Demon that will destroy you.

Care for the less fortunate and be brave. Face up to your own selfishness tonight. Stop everything.

Tomorrow is the beginning of a New Day, the first day of the rest of your life.

A Place to Vent

This Journal is a pleasure to write in. It releases all the couped up feelings, and they ARE selfish feelings. If I can spew them out, or vent them in fashion, its all cool! Dealing with everyday life is hard. Dealing with the urge to want something more is even harder. Where’s the ultimate freedom of choice?

If anyone is reading this, I want you to know that I haven’t allowed commenting for my visitors quite yet. When I find out how they can be moderated, then I will allow commenting to take place.

“An audience to quote me on my personal thoughts, cool!!!!” Just-Kidding 😉